Basement: It’s hard to side with Bonds

Two things separate Barry Bonds from other athletes: his ability to hit a baseball and his even more impressive ability to antagonize the national media.

In case you missed it, Bonds chastised the large media contingency during a Cactus League press conference Feb. 22 for its continuous coverage of his alleged steroid use. According to the San Francisco Chronicle, the reigning MVP admitted in grand jury testimony that he used a clear substance given to him by his trainer that may have been steroids.

Although Bonds couldn�t field questions pertaining to his testimony due to legal constraints, the slugger expressed an array of opinions, all with the underlying theme that the media has little credibility because it lied. He demanded the media to stop pushing the steroid issue and even reflect on other issues in the world today.

Naturally, this propelled a small army of sports writers across to the country to rush to their computers and abase Bonds in every way imaginable. From articles entitled �Barry is the Real Liar� to �Barry has �Roid Rage during Press Conference,� all the writers agreed Bonds was a little out of line with his comments. 

I firmly believe in keeping an open mind and trying to understand Bonds� point of view. But sometimes, he simply makes it impossible.

First, Bonds attributed his tremendous muscle growth to hard work. Wow. He must have worked really hard. I don�t know too many people who experience growth spurts, similar to the one Popeye the Sailor Man goes through after eating spinach, during their late 30s.

Then again, how many peoples� heads grow two hat sizes larger like Bonds� did after a few extra visits to the Reily Center? I suppose he might have eaten a few extra protein bars � and perhaps added head exercises to his routine � to gain some muscle.

Later, Bonds argued that steroid use isn�t even necessarily cheating. Unfortunately for his argument, force still equals mass times acceleration; thus, bat speed, which is directly controlled by arm and leg strength, effects how hard a ball is hit as well as how fast a batter can turn on an inside fastball, one of Bonds� best attributes. Steroids, obviously, give a player more strength.

Of course, Bonds decided to play the race card as well. When asked if the extra scrutiny is because he�s chasing Ruth on the all-time home run list, he responded by revealing that he�s black and Babe Ruth was white, and therefore he has to �go through a little bit more.�

He may have forgotten, but Hank Aaron, who sits atop the home run list, is black as well. Both the media and fans commended Aaron when he broke Ruth�s record.

Unless there is something Bonds isn�t telling us, most of the scrutiny probably has more to do with the legitimacy of this record than his being black. It�s really hard to figure out where Bonds was going with this, other than the fact that maybe he�s received hate mail nobody else is aware of.

But no Barry Bonds press conference is complete without blaming the media for his problems. According to Bonds, instead of worrying about the steroid controversy, the media should focus on other �problems� in the world, namely so-called legal substances such as tobacco and alcohol that can be lethal.

So sports journalists should be hunting down Budweiser CEOs or helping those kids in that anti-drug commercial pile up the body bags in front of the cigarette company�s headquarters. Thanks for the lead, Barry. Maybe next time I can write a column about global warming.

But of all the incomprehensible comments made by Bonds, his quip about how the media is �all liars� demonstrates his shear belligerence toward the media. He doesn�t say how or when, just simply that the media is �all liars.�

Well, I suppose I might as well start lying right now: I can�t get enough of Barry Bonds� act, I hope he passes Ruth and Aaron and there isn�t any doubt in my mind that all his accomplishments were achieved without the help of performance-enhancing drugs.

Suhas Subramanyam is a Tulane College freshman. He insists no performance-enhancing drugs were taken during the writing of this article and urges the local media to �stop lying about it.� He can be reached at superS32@aol.com