DJ Pauly D

Pauly D once shared the secret of how to make a great guido: gym, tanning and laundry — a recipe better known by its acronym “GTL.”

Now, as the Jersey Shore alum gears up for his newest gig as a touring MTV DJ, the letters are poised to take on a whole new slew of meanings. “Guidos Turn-on Ladies” and “Get Totally Licentious, (bro)!” are both contenders for top honors. All seriousness aside, his tour means one thing and one thing only for us Tulanians: DJ Pauly D is coming here, to New Orleans, to The Boot, Feb. 11. Oh my God. But unless you already scored yourself a sold-out ticket, you’ll have to join the inevitable mob outside The Boot. In the meantime, we encourage some precautionary measures to prepare yourself for your night in “da club:” first, perfect your fist pump; second, concoct a blend of hair gel that will make even the crunchiest of hairlines wilt in defeat; third, rip apart and then tie back together all t-shirts, pants and/or tight-fitting dresses; and fourth, get a tattoo of New Jersey — in Italian flag colors — on at least two separate body parts. If you follow these guidelines, maybe you, too, will be a part of the night that gives “GTL” an entirely new meaning: “Guidos Take Louisiana.”