Dear Ringo, please stop

Y Not? There are so many reasons. For starters, you are filthy rich. You were a member of the most influential and beloved pop band of all time. There’s simply no way you’re going to escape the legacy of being the least-talented Beatle. What, you think you’re going to record another White Album? You would be lucky to best Wings at this point. What do you have left to say? Apparently, more nonsense about peace and love that would’ve come off as trite 40 years ago.

Now that we’ve established that this recording is criminally inessential, how does it sound? Well, let’s play a game. If the first part of a couplet is “No need for war no more,” guess the second half! If you guessed “better things worth fighting for,” congratulations, you are as hackneyed a lyricist as Ringo Starr.

Ringo produced this trifle himself, and it shows. The shambling pop-folk songs suit his mediocre voice well, but the mixing renders his excellent backing band moot. The music is entirely middle-of-the-dial, forgettable dad-rock. I genuinely cannot imagine someone playing this more than once. The song “Everyone Wins” gets within spitting distance of tolerable, but it’s the only track that does.

Ringo seems like a good person, and there’s no malice intended in saying that this album is terrible. Think of it as a good-natured cautionary tale: while Ringo could be off spending that sweet Beatles cash on a collection of bejeweled aircraft carriers, he’s still writing songs, and good on him. Just don’t expect to find any gems here.